I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
