is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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