The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
