is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
