Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
