He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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