Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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