Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
why is half of my head shaved?
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