my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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