it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i think i have herpe
just one?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
