Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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