Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
