Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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