dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
