i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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