i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
