We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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