okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Are my feet made of real feet?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
