i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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