If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
either way he was missing a nipple.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
