trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
