I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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