Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
