just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
