so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
