We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
