i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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