Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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