actually, I'm a sock model
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
