So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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