just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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