This girl is more easily done than said...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
