i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize