I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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