I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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