My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
