Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
