I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
