Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
