I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
