Can Purell be used as lube?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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