SEEEEXXX PLEASE
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
