And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
