i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize