Don't you send me to vm
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
