I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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