If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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