It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
