ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
