I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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