Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
