i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
