You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
