New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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