i would punch a child for taco bell
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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