They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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