Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize