Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
